Barry Cadish
Portland, Oregon


Walk the talk

I was perusing Craigslist and came upon an ad for Portland Walking Tours. They are looking for  part-time tour guides. People who “have leadership abilities, charisma, a sense of humor, great communication skills, and an obvious love of Portland.”

That sounds like me. I took a Portland underground tour several years ago and wondered what it’d be like to lead one. They wanted to know why I’d be perfect for this position. This is what I told them:

  1. People think I’m funny.
  2. Often hysterical.
  3. Seriously.
  4. I love Portland.
  5. I’ve lived here almost 27 years.
  6. I’m practically a native.
  7. I can point.
  8. I love to walk.
  9. I really love to talk.
  10. I can point/walk/talk at the same time.
  11. I am tall, so tourists can easily spot me.
  12. I don’t have onion breath.
  13. Or doggy breath.
  14. I know directions N, S, E & W.
  15. I can also point in those directions.
  16. I don’t need a microphone.
  17. I am fairly loud.
  18. I enunciate well.
  19. I know the difference between their and there.
  20. Example: “Hey folks, look over there!”
  21. I know the difference between then and than.
  22. Example: “It rains less in Portland than in Houston or Miami.”
  23. Then it rains more in Houston and Miami?
  24. Yes, it does.
  25. So there.
  26. I don’t mind when it rains.
  27. In Portland. Or Houston. Or Miami.
  28. I own comfortable shoes.
  29. These shoes are made for walkin’
  30. I also own boots.
  31. They are not.
  32. I led a progressive happy hour last year.
  33. We walked everywhere.
  34. Six bars in seven hours.
  35. I love quirky artifacts, buildings and other things.
  36. Saint Cupcake bike rack is fabulous!
  37. Peculiarium? Not so much.
  38. I’m pretty quirky myself.
  39. I know where the raptors hang out downtown.
  40. It’s supposed to be a secret.
  41. I found it.
  42. How? By walking.
  43. I went on a Portland underground walking tour a few years ago.
  44. I wondered what it’d be like to lead one.
  45. I included all five things you asked for.
  46. I follow directions.
  47. I will not call you.
  48. I promise.

They must have liked something I wrote, because they called me for an audition. Cool. I mean, VERY COOL! I’ll let you know how it goes.

The views expressed on this blog are Dave’s personal opinion and do not necessarily reflect the views of anyone else or company.

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