Barry Cadish
Portland, Oregon


Posts Tagged ‘tour guide’

Walk the talk

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

I was perusing Craigslist and came upon an ad for Portland Walking Tours. They are looking for  part-time tour guides. People who “have leadership abilities, charisma, a sense of humor, great communication skills, and an obvious love of Portland.”

That sounds like me. I took a Portland underground tour several years ago and wondered what it’d be like to lead one. They wanted to know why I’d be perfect for this position. This is what I told them:

  1. People think I’m funny.
  2. Often hysterical.
  3. Seriously.
  4. I love Portland.
  5. I’ve lived here almost 27 years.
  6. I’m practically a native.
  7. I can point.
  8. I love to walk.
  9. I really love to talk.
  10. I can point/walk/talk at the same time.
  11. I am tall, so tourists can easily spot me.
  12. I don’t have onion breath.
  13. Or doggy breath.
  14. I know directions N, S, E & W.
  15. I can also point in those directions.
  16. I don’t need a microphone.
  17. I am fairly loud.
  18. I enunciate well.
  19. I know the difference between their and there.
  20. Example: “Hey folks, look over there!”
  21. I know the difference between then and than.
  22. Example: “It rains less in Portland than in Houston or Miami.”
  23. Then it rains more in Houston and Miami?
  24. Yes, it does.
  25. So there.
  26. I don’t mind when it rains.
  27. In Portland. Or Houston. Or Miami.
  28. I own comfortable shoes.
  29. These shoes are made for walkin’
  30. I also own boots.
  31. They are not.
  32. I led a progressive happy hour last year.
  33. We walked everywhere.
  34. Six bars in seven hours.
  35. I love quirky artifacts, buildings and other things.
  36. Saint Cupcake bike rack is fabulous!
  37. Peculiarium? Not so much.
  38. I’m pretty quirky myself.
  39. I know where the raptors hang out downtown.
  40. It’s supposed to be a secret.
  41. I found it.
  42. How? By walking.
  43. I went on a Portland underground walking tour a few years ago.
  44. I wondered what it’d be like to lead one.
  45. I included all five things you asked for.
  46. I follow directions.
  47. I will not call you.
  48. I promise.

They must have liked something I wrote, because they called me for an audition. Cool. I mean, VERY COOL! I’ll let you know how it goes.